I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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