he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
