I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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