when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
