Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
