didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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