R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
