I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
my god I love twenty year old dicks
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
