Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Randomize
