I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
