Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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