You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
