after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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