well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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