Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
