Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
