I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
