drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
