Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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