Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
