My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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