it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
