we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
