You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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