I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
