she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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