I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
