kristin has been a bad kristin
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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