officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
