I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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