Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
