i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
