We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
