I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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