As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
