I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
