rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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