shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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