Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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