Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
