Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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