i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
