Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
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