After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
