we have pet lesbian snakes
I think I died a long time ago.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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