Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
