i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
