btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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