sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
