that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize