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did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
