dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
