We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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