WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
