Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
