wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize