omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
