I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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