Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
