Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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